Before You Go Read online

  My eyes were trained on Laurel as she turned and slipped out the door. I watched through the glass panes until she disappeared completely from sight. It was only then that I faced Henrik.

  "She's a brilliant girl. Odd that she didn't recall knowing you, though." He stared me down expectantly, but I kept my lips sealed. "I've seen her transcripts. She took your class her freshman year."

  I shrugged as if it was nothing. "Yeah, I sort of remember her. Smart but incredibly uptight," I joked.

  "Uptight? Interesting. I didn't get that impression at all. She seems to be a very passionate and spirited young woman."

  My lips twitched as I held in an uncomfortable laugh. Passionate wasn't a word I would have thought to use about Laurel. Driven, yes. Determined, absolutely. Passionate? Maybe in bed. Fuck. Was that what he meant, too?

  "What were the two of you meeting about? Anything of interest?" I tried to sound casual, but even I could tell that my questions came out sounding too desperate for information.

  Henrik chuckled. "She was requesting a donation so that she could extend her position at the university for the next year."

  "What position?" I was pretty sure my heart wasn't beating anymore.

  "You don't know?" His surprise suggested that he knew more about my relationship with Laurel than he was mentioning. "She's been working as a marketing coordinator in Razor Hall."

  "The art school?"

  He confirmed with a nod. I knew there was no reason for him to lie but his words didn't make any sense. Why would Laurel be working in the art department? I knew for a fact she got several good job offers rolling in even before she ever even graduated.

  A vague memory struck me. Over the summer, I ran into Travis Olson at a pizza place near campus. Hadn't he mentioned it was Laurel that had recommended him to a modeling gig for the art school? At the time, I couldn't figure out why Laurel would have known about something like that. But if she had been working in the art building all along…

  "I've got office hours. It was good to see you again, Henrik." I was already backing away.

  "You too, Professor." He watched me carefully as I retreated.

  I passed the elevators, opting instead to take the stairs up to the third floor. I needed the extra couple minutes to collect myself.

  Laurel was still at Kelley. I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around that. There were also a slew of other questions it brought up. Why was she working in the art department of all places? How long was she planning to stay? Had she meant for me to ever know? She hadn't seemed surprised to see me in the hallway, but she hadn't looked pleased, either.

  I yanked my phone out of my pocket. I dialed the number still hovering in the favorites section of my phone. It rang once before clicking over to the familiar message informing me that the person I was calling was unavailable. She still had my number blocked.

  I spent all summer avoiding the places she liked because I didn't want to be reminded of what I was missing. Stupidly, I thought I could go back unscathed to the life I had before Laurel had been a part of it. I somehow convinced myself that what we'd shared had really been nothing more than an extended fling. What an idiot I'd been. And Drew was right, I really was too old to be hanging onto those kinds of regrets.

  Laurel

  I was on edge as I strolled across campus early Tuesday morning. It was the second day of classes, and I sent up a silent plea to the universe that my favorite little coffee stand wouldn't be overrun by freshmen. It was tucked away behind the library, so most students didn't know it was there unless they stumbled across it. A strangled breath escaped me in frustration when I stepped around the corner to find several students already waiting in line. No way could I go to work without a dose of coffee in me first.

  "Laurel."

  Dread crept up my spine as I turned. Isaac managed to sneak up on me while I'd been distracted by the aroma of delicious coffee. His posture was casual, but I could tell he was tense from the lines that appeared on his forehead as it wrinkled.

  I offered a tight smile before turning back around. I didn't owe him anything.

  "Laurel," he pressed.

  Sharply, I turned. "I came here every day this summer and didn't run into you once. Please don't make this a regular thing." I wasn't sure I could handle running into him regularly.

  "We should talk." He hesitated. "I didn't know you stayed."

  "Obviously."

  I could almost see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to switch tactics. "You look different," he commented. His eyes swept over me, lingering on the denim that covered my lower half.

  "I am different." My voice wobbled slightly and he flinched.

  "Laurel—"

  "Stop saying my name!" I snapped.

  His mouth slammed closed. My chest rose and fell with the same intensity I would expect after running a marathon.

  "I made a mistake," he said softly.

  The words made my stomach flip. It seemed all too convenient that he felt that way now knowing that I was still around. He probably hoped to extend our former arrangement since I'd been so agreeable about it the last time, but I wasn't so naive this time around. I made the mistake before of letting my heart get involved. I wouldn't do that again.

  "You need to learn to lead with your head, Laurel. No good comes from being guided by the heart."

  Remembering my dad's words made me shudder. I couldn't have been more than seven or eight when he said it. All summer, Ivy tried to get me to let go of the lessons I'd learned from the hardened man. His words still seemed to find me at the worst of times.

  "Fancy meeting you here," a new voice joined us.

  I felt relief seep into every last one of my limbs as I turned to find Derek standing beside me. The master's art student and I worked closely together in Razor Hall. We got along surprisingly well considering he was far too laid back for my normal tastes. Surprising both myself and him, I threw my arms around him. He was tense for a second but quickly wrapped me into a gentle hug.

  "Everything okay?" he whispered into my ear.

  I pulled back and let my eyes do the talking. No. Everything was definitely not okay. Derek's head tilted as he seemed to size up the situation. I wasn't sure what he saw when he looked behind me at Isaac, but whatever it was spurred him into action. He pulled me closer, fitting me against his side in a way that suggested we were more than just friendly co-workers.

  My eyes sought Isaac out almost automatically. He paled as he stared at the place where Derek's hand rested territorially on my hip.

  Did I really want to take that leap and pretend there was more between Derek and me? I couldn't help but think of the mess that had been made when my friend Travis' girlfriend has initially mistaken him and me for a couple. It had almost ruined their budding relationship. The situations were completely different, I forced myself to consider. Derek was purposely faking it.

  "This is Derek," I introduced, "My boyfriend." The word tasted bitter in my mouth. Derek squeezed me tighter, reassuring me that it was okay that I'd said it.

  Nervously, I tugged at the hem of my silky blouse. It didn't feel right lying to Isaac, but I also didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I hadn't managed to move on in the time we'd spent apart.

  "Professor… Gilmore, right?" Derek extended his hand to Isaac as my face flushed. I didn't even consider that Derek might know who he was.

  Isaac glared at Derek's extended palm, ultimately refusing to take it. He looked back at me. "Well, that was fast."

  "It's been months." I frowned at his insinuation.

  "Half as many months as you kept me waiting," he reminded me.

  My head snapped back on my neck as if I'd been slapped. I knew he wasn't in any danger of losing his job since I hadn't been his student when we'd started sleeping together, but he still had his reputation to consider. He made me be so careful during our time together. Now, as jealousy flashed blatantly across his face, he was being entirely too careless. I glan
ced around, only letting out the breath I'd been holding once it was clear no one seemed to be paying us any attention.

  "You can't do this here," I told him, my voice coming out softer than I'd intended. "People will talk."

  "Let them." Isaac's eyes held a dare in them that I wasn't prepared to take.

  I nudged Derek out of line, letting myself be pulled away with him. "We should go." Derek looked thoroughly confused but he nodded breezily.

  We barely made it two steps before Isaac reached for me, tugging me back towards him. He dragged me uncomfortably close, our bodies mere centimeters apart. The slightest shift would have plastered me against him. The thought made me shudder.

  "I would have never ended things if I'd known you weren't leaving."

  I could tell he meant the words to be soothing, helpful. Instead, all I felt was my heart constricting in my chest. He wasn't saying he would have wanted more, he was only saying he would have kept things the way they were. Why couldn't he see that was the last thing I'd wanted?

  "Well, I would have."

  His grip loosened at my words and I used the opportunity to step away. I hesitated midway between Isaac and Derek. There was still a part of me that didn't want Isaac to let me walk away so easily. He was staring at me, the weight of the stare heavier than any I'd ever felt before—but he didn't say anything.

  I walked the rest of the way towards Derek, sighing as he easily folded me back into his side. His arm looped around my waist, guiding me away from the aroma of fresh coffee but also from the Isaac drama.

  "Okay, I can't wait to hear what the hell that was about."

  I groaned and chanced a glance up at Derek. He was smirking down at me. "Maybe we could just not talk about it?" I suggested hopefully.

  "Are you kidding?" He laid his free hand over his heart with a dramatic flare. "You can't let me step into the middle of that and then leave me hanging. Were the two of you dating?"

  "Not exactly."

  "C'mon, this feels like the most I've learned about you since we met, and I'm not even totally sure what it is I learned. And as your new boyfriend, I definitely feel like I should know about your exes," he joked.

  "He's not my ex," I insisted. "It's really nothing."

  "It sure didn't look like nothing. Professor Gilmore looked gutted when you said I was your boyfriend."

  I hated the way he said the name with so much judgment in his tone. More than that, I hated that Isaac created the situation with Derek in the first place. I let a strangled sound escape me as I tried to decide how I could get away with a subject change.

  "I'm just gonna assume the worst if you don't tell me," Derek warned with a smirk.

  I rubbed nervously at my forehead. "We had… a fling," I managed to choke out. It sounded cheap but there was no better way to describe what I shared with Isaac. I was fully disabused of the notion that things between the professor and I had been anything more than a passing interest for him.

  Running into him set my nerves on absolute edge. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I realized I was trembling. I needed something else to focus on. My brain managed to kick itself into gear as Derek continued leading the way to Razor Hall. "So—" I stepped away so that we were no longer touching. "I'm thinking it might be a good idea to host a fall gallery as an introductory fundraiser. That way everyone can really play a role and get involved. I think a full team effort would boost morale."

  Maybe if I could distract myself thoroughly enough I might manage to forget Isaac altogether. Right, that would definitely happen any minute now.

  Isaac

  I slammed my drink down on the table yet again as I continued to stare towards the unused front door. Drew eyed the glass as if checking that I didn't crack it but otherwise didn't comment. He continued to prattle on about his classes as if he didn't notice how agitated I was becoming. Every minute that passed without Laurel walking through that door only served to put me even more on edge.

  Professor Grant, one of the professors in the art program, swore Laurel always joined a group for pizza on Wednesdays. I didn't even want to think about how many lines I'd crossed by hounding the other professor for information. Luckily for me, Grant was a few bricks short of a load. She'd been wholly unperturbed by my pseudo-interrogation. Only, it was starting to look like her information had been no good.

  "… but I'm pretty sure he isn't gonna grade too hard because one of the groups only finished half before…"

  It amazed me that Drew was still talking. From the moment we sat down, I tuned out most of what he said. My attention was fixated elsewhere. I was sure it was obvious, which meant he probably intended to give me shit about it later. I would deserve it, too.

  My breath caught like a fucking pansy when I finally caught movement near the door out of the corner of my eye. I shifted in the booth so that Drew's head wasn't blocking my view. A cacophony of upbeat voices mixed as a decent sized group of students trickled in. My back went ramrod straight when I noticed a guy near the front, the same guy that had pulled Laurel away from me the morning before. I refused to think of him by the label she'd used for him, and I hadn't bothered to remember his name either.

  "What are you—?" Drew turned in his seat to see what caught my attention and almost immediately groaned. He'd seen Laurel in the group no more than a split-second after I had. "What the hell? You said she left. Also, are we stalking her? Because that's creepy as hell, buddy."

  Suddenly, I felt myself regretting the choice to drag Drew along with me. I didn't want to be stuck eating dinner by myself, but I never considered that having my loud-mouth nephew with me might actually be the greater of two evils.

  "Turns out she's still here," I mumbled in a barely coherent string of words.

  The first two times I ran into Laurel, I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that was different about her. Her clothes and hair were different, that much was obvious. It was more than that, though, I realized as I stared at her interacting with her friends. She was lighter, not in a physical sense but as if she had managed to shed whatever weight she'd been carrying on her shoulders.

  Drew leaned to the side, interrupting my view.

  "I can't believe I'm helping you stalk your girlfriend." Drew snorted. "Wait until Mom hears about this."

  I shot him my best annoyed teacher expression, but he only laughed it off. I huffed at him. "If you tell your mother then I'll tell her you haven't been following that stupid ass curfew she set for you. Also, Laurel isn't my girlfriend. And we're not stalking anyone, so stop saying that before someone hears you."

  Drew's eyes narrowed, but the way his lips still twisted up in the corners gave away his amusement. He turned to glance over his shoulder and let out a low whistle. "Those pictures of yours didn't do her tits justice."

  I nailed him with a solid kick to the shin from under the table. He swore loudly, dropping to check on what I was sure would be turning into a nasty bruise. His loud cursing drew Laurel's attention—and the attention of her friends. Her eyes seemed to widen for a moment before she turned to seek out her… friend. The guy looked like a mix between a West Coast surf bro and a walking New York City trust fund. He leaned towards her and said something that made her laugh.

  "Shit," I muttered as Laurel pointedly turned her back on me. She slid into an oversized booth with her friends, the guy sliding in next to her.

  We were sitting on nearly the opposite side of the restaurant, not close enough to hear any of the other table's conversation. The guy put his lips near Laurel's ear, saying something apparently only she could hear. She shot a brilliant smile up at him.

  I forced my attention back to the calzone in front of me. I wasn't sure why I was torturing myself like that, seeking her out even when I knew the best thing would be to just leave her be. Laurel got to me in a way no other woman ever could. Letting her slip through my fingers once had been bad enough. I didn't plan on doing it again. I needed a new game plan, though. Following her around town wouldn
't win me any brownie points.

  "It's no wonder you never get laid anymore. That mopey look seriously doesn't suit you. I hear there's a bar nearby with lots of great tail. Whaddya say?"

  I tried my best to channel the sort of disappointed look I thought his mom would use. Jocelyn had the parenting thing down to a science.

  "No. I'm not going to any bars with my underage nephew. Now, stop talking about my sex life, it's not appropriate."

  Drew rolled his eyes at my poor attempt at proxy-parenting. "I'm messing with you." He managed to roll his eyes a second time. "Now, what are you gonna do about that?" He hooked his thumb over his shoulder, drawing my attention back to Laurel's table once again. The guy's arm was draped around her shoulders, his fingers toying with her hair.

  The sight nearly brought me out of my seat.

  "Chill," Drew warned. "Seriously? What are you gonna do?"

  Grunting out a non-answer, I shoved an oversized bite of calzone into my mouth. As far as I could tell, I had two choices. Either I needed to find a way to work things out with Laurel—and fast—or I needed to start considering the offer I got over the summer. Another university was trying to recruit me. A public university in Florida. I rejected the initial offer, but they came back with a higher one. The salary they were offering blew my Kelley salary out of the water. Not only that, but they also offered to buy my contract out mid-year so that I could start with them in the spring.

  Despite the money, I didn't initially plan on accepting. Kelley was my home. Seeing Laurel's new friend hanging all over her, though, that was enough to make me reconsider. Maybe a new job wouldn't be so bad. The university was much larger than Kelley. I could reach a lot more students teaching there. A fresh start.

  It made me sick just to consider it.

  "We should go," I said finally.

  Drew had already polished off the pizza he ordered and I was barely tasting my calzone. There was no reason to sit around punishing myself watching Laurel in the new life she seemed to have created for herself. I dropped thirty dollars on the table and shoved out of the booth. My nephew was quiet as he followed.