Before You Go Read online

  As we dodged other tables on our path to the door, my gaze involuntarily shifted to Laurel yet again. I was surprised to find her amber colored eyes were already on me. It looked like the guy next to her was trying to talk to her, but she didn't seem to be acknowledging him. Her shiny white teeth sank into her plump bottom lip. She caught me looking back at her but didn't avert her eyes. Some of the animosity she was carrying during our previous run-in seemed to have vanished.

  "Don't push your luck," Drew quietly suggested.

  Reluctantly, I faced the exit. I did want to push my luck, but not with half a dozen of Laurel's friends crowded around. I needed to catch her alone. Maybe then we could hash out the tension that was still simmering between us. And maybe, just maybe things would turn out okay on the other side.

  Laurel

  Things were not okay.

  Seeing Isaac had turned Derek into an octopus-armed monster. Meanwhile, Ivy couldn't stop gushing from across the table about what a cute couple the two of us made. That only served to encourage Derek to double-down with his affections. I started to feel like I was suffocating amidst my friends.

  Besides that, I watched Isaac leave without so much as attempting to exchange a simple greeting. I knew I should be relieved, but it soured my stomach. If it hadn't been for catching his eye on the way in and on his way out, I would have thought he hadn't noticed me at all. Whatever self-confidence I managed to build over the summer seemed to deflate.

  "You okay?" Ronnie asked in a hushed tone from beside me.

  Travis' girlfriend wasn't the warmest person in the world. If she, of all people, was concerned then I could only imagine how much my distress was showing. "Yep. All good." I forced a smile.

  Her voice lowered a few more decibels. "Is noodle arms over there bothering you?"

  I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the laughter from escaping me. My shoulders shook from the effort. Ronnie sure didn't pull any punches. I liked that about her. Sometimes it made her seem a bit brash, and she wasn't an easy person to get close to, but she was straightforward in a way that most people weren't.

  Derek leaned in, smiling like he wanted in on the joke. "What's so funny?"

  "Nothing," Ronnie answered for the both of us. She offered him a tight smile. It was the same one she used with me when we first met. I was pretty sure she wasn't a fan of him.

  The second he turned his attention back to the rest of the group she rolled her eyes for my benefit. I shuttered another near-laugh. I felt myself becoming infinitesimally more relaxed as the group chatter continued around us. The only thing I couldn't seem to get past was Derek's heavy arm still draped around me. I thought it was for my benefit after he caught sight of Isaac, but Isaac was long gone and his arm was still wrapped possessively around me.

  I looked over at Derek and blurted out, "I need to use the ladies room." He shifted away, finally giving me space. "Excuse me." I nudged Ronnie to let me out.

  The heels I borrowed from Ivy squeezed my feet painfully as I crossed the restaurant to the bathrooms. I nearly groaned aloud when I discovered a stray chair hanging out in the bathroom. I sank down into it and started digging through my purse. Near the bottom of the oversized handbag was an emergency pair of flats. Normally, I wasn't opposed to heels. That was because my own collection of shoes consisted of mostly the low, classy variety. The high pumps Ivy loaned me were twice the height of my normal shoes and a half-size too small. I wasn't sure why I let her talk me into wearing them.

  Because you were feeling vulnerable after seeing Isaac, that's why.

  That time I did groan aloud as I let my head fall back against the chair's back. My whole body started to relax as I pried my feet from the painful shoes. I stayed like that for a few minutes, relaxing in the peace and quiet of the deserted bathroom. After a while, I knew I couldn't stay any longer. My friends were probably all finished eating by that point. I slipped the flats on and washed my hands quickly before exiting.

  Everyone was standing near the booth we'd been occupying. Ivy rushed towards me, bouncing on her feet. "Derek settled the bill already."

  "Oh. I can pay my share."

  Ivy shrugged. "He paid for everyone."

  "My treat tonight, no need to pay me back," Derek stepped up and added.

  Everyone started moving towards the exit. I found myself holding back. As I look around me at all the people sitting around laughing, an idea struck me. I let myself fall back from the rest of the group.

  "Hey, you all go ahead." Ivy and Derek both turned back to me. "I want to see if the manager's around. I'm thinking this might be a good place to host a fundraiser at some point." They both looked at me incredulously. "This place is great. Laid-back and the complete opposite of the stuffy fundraisers the other schools on campus host."

  Ivy shrugged and pivoted, but Derek still hesitated. "I could stay with you," he offered.

  I waved away the offer. "It might take me a bit. You go ahead. Seriously, I'm fine." I wasn't sure I could handle alone time with the man. I was learning he might be a tad bit more interested in me than I was in him.

  "Alright. Text me later." I smiled and nodded, even though I had no intention of doing that.

  As Derek left, fully placated, I turned back to the counter where people normally placed to-go orders. There was a short line and I stepped to the back of it. Anything to make sure I didn't run back into my friends. Especially not Derek. The line moved glacially slow, but I didn't mind. I ran through a mental checklist of all the things still left to take care of before I could officially put an art gallery fundraiser on Kelley's social calendar.

  Finally, it was my turn to approach the teenage guy taking orders. He couldn't be more than seventeen, and he looked insanely bored as he gestured me closer. "What can I get yah?"

  "I actually wanted to see if a manager was around." His eyes slid into narrow slits, and I immediately rushed to correct my mistake. "I'm not complaining or anything. I wanted to ask about hosting an event here. My service was great. The waitress, too."

  That only seemed to make the kid marginally less suspicious. "Waylon is the general manager. He's not in today."

  "Okay, that's fine. When would be a good time for me to check back?"

  He shrugged. "Friday, maybe."

  "Great. Thanks." I smiled politely and stepped out of the way.

  I considered using one of the rideshare apps that Ivy was so fond of but ultimately dismissed the idea before I made it to the door. Our apartment was a reasonable walking distance away and it was still light outside. Maybe some fresh air would help me clear my head. I stepped out onto the sidewalk, the noise from the restaurant fading as the door swung closed behind me.

  I barely made it around the side of the building before a hand reached out from an alleyway that I hadn't even noticed and yanked me in. Instantly, I berated myself for not following the safety advice my sheriff father had lectured me with before I'd ever even left for college. Never walk alone, you idiot! I lifted the mace from my keyring, fully prepared to use it until…

  "Isaac?"

  He softened his grip on my forearm. "I didn't mean to scare you."

  His thumb stroked over my bare skin. "It's fine," I croaked out, my voice hoarse.

  "Laurel." My name sounded like a prayer coming off his tongue. "I've missed you." His hands both slipped down to grip my waist. His eyes were hooded. Bedroom eyes. "Tell me you've missed me, too."

  I nodded helplessly.

  His touch reminded me how good we'd been together. How good he knew how to make me feel. A soft moan floated off my parted lips.

  "Please say it," he begged.

  I couldn't, though. It was asking for too much. So, I said the next best thing. "Derek's not my boyfriend."

  He sucked in an audible breath. "What?"

  "He's not my boyfriend." My head shook. "I lied."

  The air around us stilled and then his mouth was covering mine. I melted against him as if nothing had ever changed between us. It was
a desperate kiss, our lips meeting with bruising strength as we struggled to get as close as humanly possible. His arms were woven around my back, holding me pressed to him. My own arms snaked up his body, my hands tangling in his hair to hold him just as close.

  A laughing group of girls passed our hidden alley, breaking the moment. I shoved away from Isaac, my heart racing with evidence of my sudden panic.

  "You can't kiss me, Isaac."

  "Because of that guy?" He scoffed.

  Didn't I just admit I wasn't dating Derek? I didn't want to touch that accusation. "For a lot of reasons," I said, instead.

  "Dammit, Laurel."

  Isaac stomped several feet away, further into the dark alley. I squinted to see him in the dim lighting. His fingers were laced behind his head. His shoe made a scuffling sound that echoed through the alley as he kicked aimlessly at the ground. He looked about as lost as I felt. My heart ached for him for a moment. I quickly reminded myself that he was the reason we weren't together.

  "You told me to move on," I reminded him.

  His shoulders hunched lower. He didn't defend himself. Didn't try to rationalize his decision. He stayed silently turned away even though I knew he heard me. Isaac was choosing not to have that conversation. I huffed out a laugh, not because the situation was funny but because it so wasn't. My nervous laughter prodded him to move deeper into the alley, further away from me.

  I felt tormented the same way I felt at graduation. When I'd looked out from the stage at the sea of people only to find two faces noticeably missing.

  Isaac.

  And my father.

  Channeling a better version of myself couldn't just be about letting go of what my dad wanted for me. It had to be about letting go of Isaac, too. I was so thankful I'd changed into the flats as I spun and fled out into the fading light, heading back for the relative safety of my apartment.

  Laurel

  Footsteps echoed in the hallway outside of my small office. The sound immediately sent my eyes to the door since it was early enough in the morning that Razor Hall was overwhelmingly empty. A few seconds later, Derek turned the corner into my office.

  "Hey," I greet him cautiously. Normally he didn't roll into the building until his afternoon classes were about to start.

  "Good morning." A too-big grin spread over his face as he held up a coffee cup. It bore the light blue logo of the coffee stand I loved so much.

  Sheepishly, I gestured to the coffee cup sitting on my desk with the exact same logo. "I actually just took a break to go get this one like twenty minutes ago. It was a nice gesture, though."

  His smile turned more subdued. "You don't like me, do you?" he asked.

  "I like you just fine," I protested.

  "That's not what I mean." He dropped down into one of the chairs positioned in front of my desk. "I'm interested in you as a woman," he clarified.

  I tried to examine Derek with a more clinical eye. He was relatively handsome, though he always looked like he was trying just a bit too hard to seem artsy. There was something about him that was too flashy. I would categorize him as a pretty boy, and that wasn't exactly my type. Even taking my lingering feelings for Isaac out of the picture, Derek wasn't someone I could picture myself with. I liked working with him—he was great to bounce ideas of off—but dating him held no appeal for me.

  "I don't feel the same way." I hoped being blunt would earn me points for honesty. I worried sugarcoating my response would have led him on.

  He shrugged off the rejection. "Ah well, at least I tried, right?" Derek reached out and dropped a flash-drive on my desk. "Moving on, I guess. I put together a proposal about which art pieces we might want to consider for your gallery idea. Honestly, the amateur pieces are my favorite. Very raw. I think the professors have been taking your advice about what projects to assign. The pieces aren't as technically sound, but they showcase real emotion."

  "That's exactly what we're looking for." I got so excited to check out his proposal that it took me three tries to insert the drive into my laptop.

  My jaw went slack as I finally managed to pull up the digital photo album that Derek compiled. There was a good mix of art forms. Sculptures, paintings, and ink work appeared in bursts of color. Working my way through the album from start to finish, I realized the artwork was aligned to tell a story. A sculpture of a young boy pushing a girl on a swing. An ink print of a young couple under the stars. A painting of a lively wedding scene. Each piece was as vibrant as the next.

  "This is incredible," I breathed out.

  "I figure no one can resist a good love story. Is it okay? I know you didn't want anything depressing, and some of the later stuff does showcase some loss…"

  I put my hand up so he'd stop speaking. "Derek, this is amazing. Even the darker stuff is so moving, and I do think it will fit beautifully. How on earth did you get this together so fast?"

  "Ivy and I took turns going to classes to find the best stuff. Last night I started looking through the photos and the theme was already there, I just had to piece it together. Love is timeless. I think the younger crowd will really dig this."

  "I agree." I scrolled absently back through the photos. "Start talking to the artists. I'd like to shoot for something at the beginning of October. I want to grab people's attention before they get swept up in a sea of Halloween parties."

  "Hey, Laurel?"

  "Yeah?"

  "There's actually something else I wanted to talk to you about."

  I pulled my attention away from the screen to look at him. "Okay."

  "I convinced a girl in the alumni office to compile a list for me of Razor's alumni. I'm thinking it would be good if we had some of the more notable ones mentioned the night of the fundraiser. We could even extend special invitations for them to attend."

  "Yeah, sounds good." I studied the way he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "That's not a big deal. Why are you fidgeting so much?"

  "There was one name in particular. She's a working artist making a good living. Plus, her son just started here so I'm thinking she might feel an extra push to give back to the school in some way."

  "I'm still not really seeing the problem, Derek."

  He folded his arms awkwardly in front of him. "Laurel… it's Jocelyn Gilmore."

  I felt my face pale. Isaac and his sister were close, so it was impossible for me not to recognize the name. As far as I knew, she only visited campus once during the time Isaac and I were sleeping together. The two of them were out to dinner when I ran into them. I would never forget the way Isaac averted his eyes as they passed, his hand on her back as he rushed her away from me the best he could without drawing attention to it. He hadn't wanted to introduce us.

  "That's fine. No hard feelings, you should contact her." My hands squeezed my thighs hard as I fought to maintain my composure. I could play pretend for one night around Jocelyn if that's what it took to save the program.

  "I did contact her."

  "And?" I prodded.

  "No response. I was hoping…"

  His eyes turned pleading. It genuinely took me a moment to realize what he was suggesting. "What? No. No way."

  "If you would just talk to him I'm sure he could convince her to come. She has a huge following, Laurel. It would really help."

  It was exactly the miracle I was looking for. It also happened to be my worst nightmare. How could I ask Isaac for a favor after how we left things? The alleyway kiss only complicated things further. But if I didn't do it and the gallery tanked, I would always be left wondering if doing that one extra thing might have made the difference. Did I really want to chance living with that regret?

  "I'll think about it," I conceded.

  That seemed to offer enough comfort to Derek, whose whole demeanor suddenly relaxed. He drained his coffee and then reached for the extra he'd initially bought for me. Now that I realized it was really a sort of bribe I was doubly glad I didn't take it.

  Derek shuffled his chair closer to the l
ip of my desk. "Alright, well now that I'm here hella fucking early, what else can I do to help?"

  Isaac

  Papers were splayed out in front of me on the dining room table. Despite having a home office on top of my regular office, I always found that the dining room table was my favorite place for grading papers. I liked the feeling of not being cramped on a small desk. It made the whole system of grading run that much smoother. Having Drew around, though, that was proving to make my normal grading process a bit of a clunker.

  He spent several minutes thumping around the kitchen in search of a snack. Then, he somehow decided that eating his crunchy bowl of cereal—in a large soup bowl, not even a regular sized bowl—was a task best completed on the other side of the table from me as I tried to work. On top of that, he couldn't stop talking. First, about his classes. Then, an in-depth description of every attractive woman he'd seen on campus in the two weeks since classes started. I was doing my best to tune him out, but he didn't make it easy.

  The unfamiliar sound of the doorbell chiming drew my attention. It wasn't often anyone stopped by the house, and when they did they never just arrived unannounced. Probably a salesman or something, I figured. I set my sights pointedly on Drew.

  "Make yourself useful and go answer that, will you?"

  I rubbed at the tension headache that was forming near my temples. Not that I regretted having Drew staying with me, but I did wish he would hurry up and make a few more friends so he would get out of the house more. As he walked to the door, I tried to focus on the next section of the paper in front of me. The poor girl was trying to compare the stock market to an episode of Gossip Girl.

  "Wow. I had no idea heaven had a delivery service." A low whistle punctuated the words. "An angel delivered straight to your door—what a slogan that must make."

  I cursed under my breath as I jumped up out of my seat. Drew was a harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. My mind jumped straight to damage control as I rushed into the room. Drew's frame crowded the doorway, blocking the person on the other side. He hadn't heard me approach and was still carrying on.